Turning over a new tree

The other day Doug and I were outside w/ the children. Being fall, there were lots of leaves on the ground, which inspired me to say to Noah, "You've really turned over a new leaf lately, Noah." To which Doug replied, "Noah has turned over a new tree lately."

Noah has gone thru some big changes in the last few weeks, all for the better. Even though he has been daytime potty-trained for over 2.5 years now, the nighttime thing has given him trouble. So he's been wearing extra large cloth diapers at night. We've attempted to train him several times, but after 5 or 6 days of washing at least 1 set of sheets every day, I would just give up and decide to wait a while longer. We would have him pee before bed, and then I would wake him up before I went to bed, around 11 or so, to have him use the bathroom one last time. The problem was that he always fought me. He would stand there at the toilet and say he did not need to go and fuss and whine and whatnot. Even though I knew he needed to go, his heart was not in it. We had even thrown in some incentives, like if he learned to stay dry at night (at least 5 nights out of 7) we would take him out for a milkshake. This excited him, but it sure didn't help his attitude when I went to wake him up. A couple of weeks ago Noah said he wanted to try again. He has had a big attitude change lately (more on that in a minute) so I said OK. Now when I go to wake him up, he gets up, does his business, and goes back to bed w/o a word of protest. He's been staying dry at night about 75% of the time, and I am thrilled. We took him out for his milkshake last week and he is very proud of himself.

I've mentioned before his constipation woes and how those were finally fixed w/ a constant stream of some good probiotics. After the initial period of excitement where he would go 5 or 6 times a day, he started slacking off, going back to 1 or 2 times a week again. I said no way are we going back to that. So I had to tell him to go sit on the potty every day after breakfast. Which was annoying, but I just figured he didn't have the maturity to discipline himself to go and sit when nature called. He did fine once he got on the toilet. Well, now he is going all by himself every day w/o prompting. He even calls himself "the pooping machine". :)

Noah is also being kinder to his sisters and much more affectionate to them and to us. He comes up and tells me what a sweet mommy I am and gives me a hug. Noah has always been an emotional child, but he doesn't seem to get upset as easily, calms down quicker, and generally has a more pleasant attitude. He even asks to clean up the playroom! He's certainly not perfect, but hey, neither are we, right?

So what started this? A few weeks ago I started a new nighttime ritual. Instead of just putting the children in bed, praying w/ them, and then kissing goodnight, I now lie down next to them, sing some songs and/or talk, snuggle a while, and then pray. This extra 10 minutes of "Mama-time" has had a tremendous impact on our little boy. Doug and I have always felt that we did not have Noah's heart, that we were connected emotionally. It was almost like there was a constant wall between us, and there was no desire on his part to please us. A desire to please can go a long way. But now I feel like the wall is coming down, and it is soooo nice. Not just because he is more fun to be around nowadays, but because he is my child and I want to have fellowship w/ him. I can still physically restrain him now, but in 10 years, he will most likely be taller and stronger than me. What will I do then if I do not have his heart, his trust, his love? Will he listen to us, or just disregard our advice and go his own way? If I want him to listen to me when he is 15, I have to cultivate our relationship (which includes listening to him) when he is 5. I have heard it described as "tying heartstrings". I like that.

I don't chalk all of these changes up solely to the bedtime routine. Doug has always spent a lot of time playing w/ him and teaching him things. He's a great Daddy. We have prayed for a loooong time for this and for wisdom on how to gain his trust. I feel like we are making real progress, and I am so thankful for that. We just have to keep working and praying that we will be able to keep his heart.

Isn't my little man cute? :)